I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
