You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
