it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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