I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
