You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There r osticjed everywhere
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
