She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
