Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
