what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
