So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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