This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
