Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
