He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
