She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
