covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
