Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
