you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
