She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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