But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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