The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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