We're facebook friends in real life
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
