nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
