# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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