so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My vagina is officially offended.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
