Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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