Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
