Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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