I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
