that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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