There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm always down for nudity.
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