Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
