I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
send nudes
from the living room?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
