The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
