maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
