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Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
