you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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