I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
