I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My ass is underappreciated
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize