Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
