"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We need to rekindle our bromance
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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