I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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