If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
