Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
