i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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