So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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