Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
