I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
