He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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