nut hugger
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
