He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
