I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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