I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
