went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
