Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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