I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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