I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm too high and old for this...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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