The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
